The Bad Boys Guide to the Galaxy

Karen Kelley
ISBN 978-0-7582-1770-7
Mass Market
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Take me to your leader. Come to think of it, just take me.

Planet Nerak was perfect until an expedition to Earth brought back an unwanted guest. Enter one talented Nerakian named Lara, sent on a special fact-finding mission in the vast region called Texas. Fortunately, police officer Sam Jones has offered to help. Unfortunately, Sam’s skill at sex is quite distracting…

Crazy, that’s what Sam is. What sane man would voluntarily isolate himself in the Texas woods with an alien, not to mention a female one with a superiority complex, legs that won’t quit, and a penchant for walking around buck naked? And when Lara wastes no time getting into his bed, he goes where no man has gone before. Of course, when you’re from Texas, nothing—not even an entire planet—is going to stop you from getting what you want.

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Chapter One

Sam Jones stepped on the elevator and pushed the button. His life was about to change for the better. Rest and relaxation, here I come. His only worries were going to be if the fish were biting and there was enough beer in the fridge.

He didn’t want to think about the bad guys on the streets of Dallas. Hell, he and Nick had put away one of the biggest kingpins in the city and gotten commendations from the captain and the mayor.

With the help of Kia, of course. He couldn’t leave her out. Man, she was something else. Nick had all the luck.

But they’d had to be extra careful where she was concerned. They’d shielded her from the press as much as possible. At the time, she’d come off as a happy but beautiful fiancée and nothing more. But then she didn’t really look like an alien from the planet Nerak.

Now it was vacation time. He’d gone months without a decent day off, and he had a little two bedroom cabin in the piney woods of East Texas calling his name. He could almost smell the fish frying.

When the elevator stopped, he got off, whistling a jaunty tune as he strolled to Nick’s apartment. Another fifteen minutes, and he’d be on his way.

He tapped on the door.

Nick opened it, then frowned when he saw who it was.

“Hey, buddy.” Sam grinned.

Nick slammed the door.

Now that wasn’t nice, and after everything he’d done for his friend. “Hey, did I say anything when you went on your honeymoon? No, not one word, and I had to partner with Hank the Skank. The man never bathes. He could stink a dog off a gut wagon. At least you’re working with Trudy.”

The door opened, and Nick glared at him. “You think Trudy’s better than Hank?”

Sam stepped inside. “No.” He chuckled. “You just have to tune her out. The woman never shuts up. At least with Hank, I could roll the window down.”

“If I tune her out, then she pokes me in the ribs.” He grimaced. “The last time I worked with her, I carried bruises for a solid week.”

“I’ll be back before you know it.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Nick could complain all he wanted, but Sam was leaving on vacation and nothing was going to stop him. He dug in his pocket. “Here are the keys to my apartment.” He dropped them in Nick’s open hand. “Just put the mail on the table.”

“You’re too damn happy about all this,” Nick grumbled.

His deep sigh was full of contentment. “Why shouldn’t I be? I haven’t had any time off in six months, at least none to speak about. I’m ready for a little fishing, tossing back a few beers, and a whole lot of peace and quiet. There’s nothing like my cabin in the springtime.”

Kia came from the back of the apartment, all four of her shih tzus following right on her heels. You’d think they were her babies the way they trailed after her.

“Sam, I didn’t know you were here,” she said, smiling.

“I was just dropping off the keys to my apartment,” he told her. He couldn’t stop his grin from forming when he thought of all the hell she’d put Nick through. He was glad everything had worked out, but he’d take single life any day.

He looked around at the garish colors on the apartment walls. “By the way, I like what you’ve done with the apartment. Very psychedelic with the hot pinks and bright greens. Did Nick help you decorate?”

Nick shot him a look that said he was not amused. Sam kept his expression innocent—not that he thought Nick bought it.

“I did it while Nick was at work,” Kia told him. “It was a surprise.”

“Boy, was I surprised,” Nick muttered, then quickly smiled at Kia. “You did a wonderful job. I love it. All our friends are envious.”

“Oh, good! I was thinking about doing our bedroom next.”

Sam smothered a laugh. If he didn’t watch out, Nick would be poking him in the ribs.

“You’re leaving for your cabin?” Kia asked.

He nodded as one of the pups jumped up, begging for attention from Nick.

“Have a good time, and try to relax. Nick said you don’t relax enough. He said you should learn to bend the rules a little and let your hair down.”

She studied him for a moment before looking at Nick, then back to him.

“I think that must be a figure of speech since your hair isn’t long enough to let down. He also said you needed to get laid. Are you tired of standing?” She went on to the kitchen, not waiting for an answer.

“I’m not a bit tired,” Sam called after her. “I think Nick needs to worry about his own life rather than mine.” He looked pointedly at his friend. “And I do bend the rules. I just don’t warp them completely out of shape like you do.”

Nick cleared his throat and reached down for the pup. He picked up the ball of black and white fur, rubbing her behind the ears. For a man who’d sworn he’d never have a girly dog, Nick had changed his mind pretty fast.

And Nick thought he needed fixing?

He did sort of feel bad leaving Nick with Trudy. “Try to follow the rules while I’m gone, and I’ll try to bend them a little.”

Nick grinned. “You think I won’t follow them?”

They both knew the answer to that. “Hell, no.”

Nick shrugged. “I can’t be like you. Life wasn’t meant to be point A to point B. Sometimes you have to veer off the track to see what else life has to offer.”

“That’s why I worry about you, Nick. While I’m taking a little R&R, I won’t be there to keep you out of trouble.”

“Like Kia says, try to relax. You deserve it. I’ll keep my nose clean, promise.”

Sam chuckled. “I always relax at the cabin. You know me, I’m a natural born explorer.” He could easily see himself traversing across new terrain in undiscovered lands. “If I’d been born a hundred years or so ago, I might’ve discovered all kinds of new countries.”

Before Nick could comment, a loud rumble shook the apartment.

“Thunder?” Strange. He glanced out the window, but the sky looked bright and blue.

“Oh, no!” Kia rushed back to the living room, her face a shade paler. She grabbed the pup from Nick and hurried to the bedroom. The other three puppies followed.

“What is it?” Nick called after her.

Sam had never seen her this upset, except maybe when Nick had gotten shot. What was going on?

She hurried back into the living room after shutting the pups in the bedroom. “The Elders. I know the sound of their crafts.”

“I won’t let them take you,” Nick said, his expression grim. “We’ve been through too much already. No one is going to come between us.”

Her smile looked a little wobbly. “I told you that I wouldn’t go back to Nerak, but sometimes we don’t have a choice in what we want.” She drew in a deep breath. “It sounds like they’re landing on the roof. We’d better meet them.”

“I’m not staying behind,” Sam said and followed. Damn, after all these two had been through, this was the last thing they needed.

They quickly took the stairs to the roof.

“What about your neighbors?” Sam asked.

“Either working or old enough they probably didn’t hear a thing.”

Before Nick pushed the door open, he glanced over his shoulder with a troubled expression.

Sam’s stomach churned. He’d heard about the Elders, the supreme rulers of Nerak. If they wanted to take Kia back with them, there wouldn’t be a whole hell of a lot Nick and Sam could do. But he wouldn’t tell Nick that.

“Don’t worry, buddy. I’ve got your back,” Sam tried to reassure him.

“I never thought you wouldn’t.” Their gazes met for a brief moment before Nick opened the door and they stepped out to the roof. Sam closed it firmly behind them.

“An Elder’s craft,” Kia breathed.

Sam had still been holding on to the belief they were worrying for nothing, and that it had been thunder . . . or a sonic boom. What he was looking at wasn’t either one.

A billowing gray cloud enveloped the tube-shaped craft now sitting on the roof. The door swished open, and a woman stepped out. She wore an emerald green silk robe, and her pale blond hair reached to her waist. But he couldn’t see her face.

Kia’s mouth dropped open, then snapped closed. She quickly bowed before the woman. “Greetings, Healer.”

“This is an Elder?” Nick whispered.