Whenever I’m working on a new book, I suddenly become obsessed with movies & music & quotes that seem to go with the topic or characters of my latest story.

Vampire movies or TV shows aren’t terribly hard to find, but how about some of the great—& funny!—quotes I collected while writing my latest release MUST LOVE VAMPIRES?  I’m hoping they’ll amuse you as much as they amused me.

“…always remember—just because you have a stripper name doesn’t mean you have to grow up to be a stripper.” (My Name is Earl)

“What’s up with these strippers not taking my singles? They must not like Kraft.” ~Megan Amram

“Luckily, in Vegas, it’s never too late for crazy to happen. Never.” (Raising Hope)

“That’s a feline.”
“That will drink you like a juice box.” (Psych)
[You may have to read the book to get this one. ]

“I can play games, too. I once dated identical twins while pretending to be identical twins.” (Whitney)

“Remember, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Except herpes. That shit’ll come back with you.” (The Hangover)

“What happened to laying low?”
“Who lays low in Vegas?” (Race to Witch Mountain)

“…got married in Vegas.”
“Because, really, who doesn’t?” (Numb3rs)

“Nobody messes with the twins.” (Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen)

“How about a daytime ceremony in the park?”
“Fabulous. Enjoy your honeymoon with the big pile of dust.” (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

“Since when do you give a crap about vampires?”
“Since, uh…what’s today, Friday?” (Supernatural)

Just because you’re stone cold dead doesn’t mean you can’t be stone cold hot.” (Mike & Molly)

“These days, all they care about are their iPhones & those kissing vampire movies.” (Grimm)

“Without mentioning vampires, I can’t tell you the story.” (from Laurell K. Hamilton’s Incubus Dreams)

“Somebody’s gotta stop reading those Twilight books.” (Raising Hope)

“And suddenly I’m thinking ‘suck’ isn’t a good word to use around vampires.” (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

“Vampires. Always thinking with your teeth.” (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

“You’re a vampire. Oh, I’m sorry, is that an offensive term? Should I say ‘undead American’?” (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

“I love your pallor.” (The Simpsons)

“Back off, you unholy dreamboat!” (The Simpsons)

“You’ve never even been out of the abbey. How do you know about vampires?”
“I read.” (Van Helsing)

“Word to the wise—immortality is no excuse not to floss.” (Forever Knight)

“You thought Dracula was sexy?”
“Oh, no. He was yuck.”
“Yeah, except for the whole tall, dark, & handsome thing—yucko!” (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

A man shouldn’t use immortality as an excuse to let himself go.” (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

“I don’t want to spend the rest of my life chasing after vampires. All I want to do is graduate high school, go to Europe, marry Christian Slater, & die.” (Buffy the Vampire Slayer (the movie))

“Is that all I was to you—a one-bite stand?” (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

“I happen to be very biteable, pal. I’m moist & delicious.” (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

So what do you think—did they make you laugh? And do you have any favorites of your own that I might have missed?