Lucy Monroe Icon

…otherwise known as Hubcap.

Hubcap vs. the Hot Springs

Greetings one and all, Hubcap here. Just wanted to let you know that the Missus and I celebrated a fabulous 20 years of marrytude last week! This time was different from previous anniversaries as I was kept in the dark as to what the festivities would be. “It’s a SURPRISE!” Lucy said with glee!

Now mind you, I’m all for surprises. But I did run through my head real quick, trying to remember all the stupid things I said or did over the past two decades. Was it going to be a lovefest, all romantic and wonderful? Or was it going to be a drive to a “remote location”, with a bump on the head and concrete shoes? I figured it was the latt…er, um, former. After all, I’ve been good, right? RIGHT?

Well the Big Day came, and off we went.

As we went further and further from town, things were looking….well, remotely located.

“Turn here,” Lucy said. Then she gave further directions. All said and done, we pulled up to……THE BONNEVILLE HOT SPRINGS RESORT.

Holy Smokes, what an incredible place! And I wasn’t going to die!

I just want to go on record and thank everyone (and the Academy) for their suggestions and input for where to spend our Anniversary. It was, I must say, the best time we’ve ever had. A huge suite, a balcony almost as large, WITH a hot tub filled with mineral waters. We used that hot tub like crazy!

The place is super peaceful, and built like a lodge, very beautiful (yeah I said it, the B word). As soon as we arrive, we had our first appointment, a eucalyptus mineral bath with follow-up body wrap. Now, I’ve never sat in rockwater, and have never had my body wrapped in towels. At least, not by a man. But there’s always a first time.

That bath was amazing (at least when I turned the water temperature from “Stir Fry” to “Comfortably Hot”). I was totally relaxed, eating grapes, feeling….well, a bit feminine…WAIT A GOLDARN MINUTE, THAT AIN’T RIGHT! I promptly leaped into the other bath, which was filled with…..freezing water. Yes sir, that’s a bath a real man would take! And yes, I promptly leapt back into the comfy hot eucalyptus bath, having made my shriveled point. I’m glad you agree.

The body wrap, of course, had me thinking odd references, like “The Geek Mummy” and “Indiana Jones and the Body Wrap of Doom”. Soft music playing, I really enjoyed it, save those brief times when the guy would come in and ask, “Are you warm enough?” Well, YOU’RE not gonna find out! Now go replace that chamomile compress on my forehead, I’m not feeling manly enough…

The next day, Lucy had set up full body massages for the two of us. The two guys walk into our suite, set up the tables, and as we get on the tables, they ask, “Now, do you like a lot of pressure? Not everyone does.” Heck, we do great under pressure! Do your worst! We’re thinking, “We can handle THIS!”

Well, I got a word for you: Wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. They found muscles we didn’t even think we had…then promptly massaged them into oblivion. We fought back tears the whole time, finally we had to cry Uncle, and they quickly lightened the pressure. Now don’t get me wrong: Those guys did a terrific job; upon reflection, we should’ve got the lighter setting off the get go. Oh, and mentioned that my feet and legs are ticklish. I’m just saying hypothetically, because as a man, I’m not ticklish. You’ll never know of course, because I won’t let anyone near me.

Every meal was, as Lucy put it, “Gourmet!”. Even when we visited the nearby town of Stevenson, a small cafe, their lunch and salads were exotic….excellent! A hummus plate with goat cheese and fancy olives, pulled pork sandwiches that had smoked all day. Incredible.
And on the actual Anniversary date, in a historic hotel in Columbia Gorge; to-die-for salmon and steak meals that were literally too good to eat! And in all of this, beautiful (there’s that word) scenery, watching Kitesurfers on the Columbia, a great museum with petroglyphs in it. Fun, sun, peace. Surrounded by the sounds and sights of Nature.

And might I add, on top of all this, my Gorgeous Lucy, we never were apart! We talked, laughed, loved, relaxed 24-7. We remembered all the wonderful times we’ve had over the years, how much in love we still are with each other, and how we were going to continue this great ride God Blessed us with. An amazingly loving time. And no: I WOULDN’T rather be fishing. Honest.

Well, that’s it for now, thanks again folx, and I’ll catch up to you next time.

Spinning off,
Hubcap