Me: Hi, you’ve got to come home NOW.
Him: I can’t bring you cookies, I’m in the middle of a concrete pour.
Me: There’s a squirrel.
Him: Still not bringing you cookies.
Me: Okay, let’s play a game where you LISTEN TO ME. There’s a squirrel in the house. INSIDE the house.
Him: Is this because I fell asleep with the TV on?
Me: No, it’s because THERE’S A SQUIRREL IN THE HOUSE.
Him: Get Ashes.
Me: It yelled at her and she’s cowering in the bathroom. We need you. Come home.
Him: (big sigh) Fine.
Me: Thank you. Oh, and can you bring cookies?
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