October 30, 2006 • Print This Post
I’ve been a reader since I could hold a book. I’ve been a romance reader since I discovered the racy romances in the library while in middle school. I’d stay up late at night reading them with a flashlight. Talk about a great escape. Cut to twenty years later . . . The other day my youngest daughter came home from middle school, put her hands on her hips and gave me a long look. “Smart And Sexy?” she demanded. “Really?”
Well, huh. Smart And Sexy is the 4/07 title of my upcoming Brava, and I hadn’t mentioned it to her because unlike me at that age, she does not spend hours in the library reading racy romances. “Where did you hear that?”
“On your blog, mom. You have the cover there. In computer class, my friends all had it up on their screen.”
The cover is . . . hot. Definitely suggestive. It’s of a woman climbing onto a man’s lap. Oh. Oh. “And you were embarrassed.”
“Why can’t you write history books, or something really dull? Instead everyone always wants to go look at your covers. It’s . . .” She searched for the right word. “Ewwww.”
“I see.” And I did. In fact, I’ve been struggling with this for some time. As a mother of three daughters, all becoming teenagers, is it irresponsible of me to be writing such hot and sexy books? At first, given my daughter’s horror, I decided yes. I decided hey, I also write funny. I write mystery. I could do those things instead and leave out all the sex. I even wrote up a proposal for a funny mystery series about a rather quirky pastry chef whose shop has a ghost haunting it. This ghost is an old woman who runs a geriatric P.I. firm from the great beyond, much to her very alive grandson’s chagrin. And guess what happened. The steady, non-ghost believing grandson was hot and sexy and alpha, and had this insane attraction to the pastry chef, even as she drove him crazy on a daily basis. And they wanted to have sex. A lot of it. Damn it. Picture me tossing the proposal over my shoulder and plopping my head down on my desk as I gave in.
I can’t seem to help myself. I love love. I love romance. I love making characters fall in love, and yeah, I like making their stories spicy while I’m at it. I don’t know what that says about me, but there it is. I’m in this for the long haul.
But if my daughter has her vote, my covers and titles wouldn’t embarrass her in computer class … So I guess my question is, as a reader or author, have any of you had a moment’s discomfort over your reading/writing habits?
Posted by Jill Shalvis @ 1:00 am • Filed under: Jill Shalvis
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I think it’s great that your daughter talks to you about what’s bothering her. As a reader it doesn’t really affect me because while my teenagers see the covers of the many romances I read they also see similar advertisement all over the media. Also I have found that you are going to embaress your teenager one way or another.
It probably is different for kids of romance writers, so I can sympathize a little with her, but at the same time, I think she has a front row seat to some amazing books that teach a very positive and healthy attitude about sex and relationships.
I worked p/t at a bookstore, and it bothered me when other employees would make snarky comments or read the sex scenes out loud. I admit that I didn’t speak up for the books I loved - I just bought more.
Sometimes I think about down the road, to that magic day when my first novel hits the shelves… and my mother reads it. That will definitely be a moment of discomfort! But other than that, no.
You’re not being irresponsible. You’re doing your job. You may not fit the typical “mom” image–just take a deep breath, wipe your fevered brow and say Thank Goodness! before you go back to typing with nine fingers. I say your daughter will get over her ick factor in a couple of years, so enjoy it while you can!
I don’t think that the covers of romance novels are any worse than magazine covers or things they see on television. Don’t stop writing them!
I started reading Romance in Middle school and I had to sneak in the books so my mom and dad wouldnt see them… Untill my mom found them under my bed one day and stacked them nicely by my bookcase *imagine Johanna Lindseys covers from the 80’s*…. I was just a little embarrased.
I still get embarrased sometimes when I am with some of my family and end up buying books with a really sexy title. But Im not going to stop so who cares:)
I started reading Gothic romance while in Middle School. Granted the covers weren’t steamy, but reading them did propel me into more romance through the years.
I have lived through the bodice-ripper covers and now the more suggestive covers, but I have never been embarassed to pull a book out in public and read. My family, especially my teenagers, have come to accept my books, although they do endearingly call them my ’smut’ books. *rolling eyes* And as Maureen stated, you’re always gonna embarass your teens in one way or another, so why not have fun while you do it.
Maureen and Callen are right - good grief, my dad embarrassed me a lot and he didn’t right romance. She’s at that “stage” where sex is ewwwwwwww, so just the fact that you write romances, whether the covers are suggestive or not, or the sex is tame or hot, won’t really matter. Ask the other two how they feel about it. And I like your idea of the haunted pastry chef and the geriatric P.I. ghost with the alpha grandson. So, when are you going to write it? I love ghost story romances, btw.
Other than the uncomfortable moments when I am struggling with the overwhelming urge to choke the life out someone who makes a stupid comment about my choice of reading materials…naaah!
I have to agree with Julie and Maureen. Teens are exposed to a lot worse things than suggestive titles and covers…and unfortunately most of that starts in the halls of the middle schools. And sometimes the mere act of me breathing has been known to embarrass my sons, so I wouldn’t worry about it Jill.
There are much worse ways to screw up your children. Seriously. It sounds like you have an open line of communication with yours and as long as they are vocal, there is no problem. It’s when they stop telling you what is on their minds that you should worry.
I’ve never been embarrassed by my choice of reading material — though sometimes the covers have been so bad that I’m embarrassed by them. I’m not talking about the sexy ones, but some of the old ones where the near-naked hero looks like he’s humping the heroine’s shoulder blades. Just baaad.
The only time I felt any discomfort was when my husband gave his mother a copy of the short story I had published last year — my thought was “eewww” and there wasn’t explicit sex in the story. To my surprise, she actually enjoyed it. Well, she complained about the sex first, but then she admitted she liked it. (Then she got in trouble by giving it to her sister-in-law who got enraged I was “writing porn”, but that’s another story. :roll:)
good to see u again
Well I don’t think I’ve ever been embarrassed to pick up a book.
Hi Jill,
I bet deep down inside she was proud of you.
It’s always good to have a supply of ‘embarrassment’ resources. By the way, I like the ghost story line! You should go with that one. 
Two of my uncles are evangelical ministers. My grandmother was a religious teacher. My mother is a DEVOUT Catholic.
I’m just a Catholic.
“Why can’t you read and write things with out sex or violence in it?” Is the one thing I hear a lot. And it hurts. And makes me mad.
So, yeah, I struggle with my choices all the time. But not because of my kids. My kids are too young.
My family doesn’t have a problem w/what I read, although my youngest daughter will sometimes turn my books over or put them in my bedroom if she’s having friends or her boyfriend over. I don’t have a problem with that. I work in a law office and typically read during part of my lunch hour - while it’s not a stuffy office, I don’t leave books with sexy covers/titles lying out on my desk.
My mom used to read catagory romance and I thought they were “so gross.” They’d be all over the house and my mom was SUCH a weirdo.
The summer after my freshman year of college I was desparately searching for a happily ever after with this cowboy I loved. I found a bag of catagory romance (mostly HQN Desire) and devoured the whole bag. They were SO GOOD. I’ve always liked to write and did that for awhile, still in search of the HEA. I’ve gotten to a point where I’m not 19 anymore and I’m not searching for that HEA. That has caused HUGE amounts of writer’s block for me because — wow! — I’m happy where I’m at. When I wrote I always wrote about what I WISHED would happen to me. Now I’m okay and I don’t need that anymore. Now I don’t write, but sometimes I read pretty racy stuff. I used to give everything I’d read to my mom but sometimes I don’t now because I know she reads them and goes “OH MY GOSH MY BABY READ THIS?!?!” 
That was the longest comment ever with no point. Ha ha! Anyway, that’s my story.
I have never had any problem with what I was reading. Although I had one of those embarrassing moments when I loaned a couple of books to my Dad to read. He is 84….and he said to me they sure have a lot of sex in those books……. I quickly thought about the books I loaned him and knew I had loaned him FBI series stories by a popular Author, but said okay I won’t loan you books like that again. He said I didn’t say I didn’t like the books I just said they have a lot of sex. I said………ummmmm okay
But Jill, I wouldn’t stop writing what you do best, my guess is that she is embarrassed right now - not so much with what you are doing, but that her friends are noticing and she is just at that age. If you turn on the TV or listen to conversations around you, there is lots worse out there. Your books are neat and uplifting……..
If I was a teenager and my mom wrote the books I’d probably be embarassed too. But as a reader I love your books and I don’t care if anyone has a problem with my reading choice (my dad and boyfriend have a big problem) I love the proposal you wrote put some spice and sex in it and I’d definately would want to read it.
I work in a church office and when things get slow I get to read. After being teased by several people because of the books I read, I tend to pick ones with “tamer” covers to carry around. Of course, if I have one of the “racer” books, I hide it as soon as people come into my office… just so I don’t have to deal with the comments.
If your child hadn’t seen the cover, would you be asking yourself these questions? The books are prominently displayed in WalMarts, bookstores and grocery stores. I am surprised it took her this long to see one. I read some pretty hot books and am not ashamed of it.
As an avid reader, I enjoy hot romances and have heard all the comments and gotten all the looks. Then I discovered the wonderful invention of book covers, those cloth or leather covers that lets me enjoy my romance stories in peace. And my ebook reader is even more discreet. Just lovely.
Hey Jill,
No my reading habits have not caused me any embarrassment. My teenage daughters friend asked me if I read porn when she saw a book on the table. My daughter replied “no, she reads romance.” My younger daughter thinks some of the covers are gross, but otherwise I haven’t had any discomfort with my choice of reading material.
Jill,
I am so excited to see my favorite author on this site. You’re the best! My mom is a huge romance reader so I have been around these types of books for as long as I can remember. So no, I have not had any problems with my choice of books.
Hi Jill!
I just visited your own blog and it said that you were guesting here. Welcome to Brava Authors!
I haven’t had much problems with the books I select. Most of the covers I think are tastefully done. I haven’t seen anything to raunchy on the books I have bought. My favorites are when the man is holding the woman in a tender embrace and is kissing her. I love the romance!
I have never been embarrased by my reading material. I read for my pleasure. If someone is bothered by my choices, that’s their problem. As for my daughter, she reads the same books I do now. When she was a teenager, she called them “Momma’s trashy novels”.:lol: We laugh about that now that she is an author herself. If you are embarrassed by what people say about your reading choices,then read something else.:mrgreen: Have a great day
I love your covers. Actually a hot cover like yours makes me pick up the book. Will I read it in my classroom, no. But I do read them everywhere else.
Yes, the guys at work tease me about what I read. I am fortunate enuf to be able to read when I have free time. One guy says, you are reading those trashy books again, and it is not even worth it to argue with him. He is a moron. Words a romance author just loves to hear. NOT.
Jill…I actually tried to talk to my oldest son about this recently. Either he’s in total denial or he doesn’t care
Jill,
I absolutely laughed my butt off at your post. I too write romance and have a daughter in middle school. She came home and looked at me and proudly stated that she told her English teacher I was a writer and the teacher was happy. She has invited me to contact to her and talk to her classes on writing. I too write funny and mystery. I also write steamy, the hotter the better.
I had one of those moments questioning what I do at that point. I had the perfect solution. I was going to write a young adult book. Good in theory, until I hit the single dad part and the hot pretty teacher and then I too, went err…it was the thought that counts.
Take care Jill and know you are not alone.:lol: